a close friend once told me that after all these years, there's still so much she didn't know about me... the root of the issue is not worth mentioning... sufficient to say that it's very very difficult for me to trust and let pple get close... it rather terrifies me in fact to have someone know so much about me... it's a "quirk" of mine that I know rather hurt some pple whom I actually hold dear... but it's something that I'm also trying hard to overcome...

consciously or not (and i hope it's not) different pple seem to see different sides of me... but the consensus seems to be that I'm a pretty cool person... I'm NOT actually... something some people might forget, and which have at times bite me back...

writing has always been my haven... and blogging gave me a way to "archive" and compartmentalise all my thoughts, rants and ravings :] in the various blogs that I felt like updating at any particular moment...

once upon a time, at a difficult time in life, I ranted in an email to a friend who'd knew what I was talking about... however, in my bimboness, I didn't send it to the right person... BUT that person still kept my mail in strict confidence anyways, and in fact became one more person I could trust, became someone I know I could count and depend upon...

today, another friend made me realise my other moment of bimboness which was "inviting" people into a world she correctly sensed I'd wanna keep solitary... she was pretty contrite about stumbling into it... but I'd like to put into record that I'm ok with it... she's someone I've always knew I could trust... and making the difficult decision to tell me in fact further cemented my trust in her... so dun feel so bad abt it, k?

it's just so amusingly ironic how I try so hard... and then certain things just so easily come out... :]

but hey... everything happens for a reason... and I've always stood by the philosophy of making the best of whatever situation...

NOTE TO SELF: dear control freak... LET GO!