i feel like dying.........

hahah... if i'm a student someplace in SG now, that would have gotten quite a few pple in a flurry after the most recent suicide case... i remembered attending a suicide awareness course last year after the case in my sch cluster... any admission of suicide thoughts or talks must be addressed and must be handled... but something i remembered clearly from that talk is how ignorance is the worst punishment you can inflict on someone... and i remembered feeling guilty coz... although it's not something i do intentionally 2 hurt... sometimes i'm just too too tired to deal...

like now...

i dun realli feel like dying like i WANT to die... nauzubillah... juz that i feel so tired... i got another bout of chest infection... which is a terrible n scary thing... have a *bit* of an idea hoe pple who got SARS felt... breathing is such a basic natural thing... when u suddenly have difficulty doing it... then u have an idea how vital such a simple action as that is...

i havent met d gang 4 ages... too tired 2 go out with them after wk... i usually go out with the motley gang 2 release stress... but dun have the energy nowadays... juz finished a major cluster project that kept being peppered by *challenges* from the supt... :P now doing compiling n evaluation n stuff 4 closure... :P

there's another outing today... but dono if i can command d energy... sleep is much more inciting... LOL...plus my dearest form teacher getting married tomorrow... YAY! finally! :D i'm so excited 4 her...

do u remember trying 2 get as many pple as possible 2 write in your autograph b in pri sch? all d frenz 4eva n stuff... post psle... i kept in touch maybe with abt 5 frenz... which dwindled to 2... to none over the years... it was only sometime last year... almost 10years after that i ran into a best fren from pri sch... and discovered how so so much have happened since we lost touch... n although still frenly, there was a certain subtle rift to our pri-sch closeness...

i dun realli keep in touch with my sec sch gang... but we do try 2 meet at least once a year... or other important events in life... like an ex form teacher's wedding... :) it's weird actually how we kinda flit thru each other's life... but actually are still important... n rather close... :)

i keep in touch with JC frenz relatively more often... well... certain quarters anyways... we only spent 2 yrs in sch together... but i guess amongst all grps of sch-frenz, we are the tightest...

uni frenz are the motley gang i referred to... but what's noticeable is my close frenz from uni are actually pple from my same JC who i wasnt realli close to or realli knew then... :) interesting how small d world can be... :)

frankly... i'm not realli one who treasure frenz... who realli make an effort 2 keep in touch... always thought myself as a pretty independent person... it was only that i did an overseas study exchange prog... and had such a major miscommunication... or uncommunicable comunication prob interacting with my foster family there... and was faced with not having the means to go anywhere on my own... that i treasure my easy independence... and the frenz i could contact if and when i want... after that... studying or working alone overseas all by myself don't seem so fun and exciting after all... ;D