i finally finished Tuesdays With Morrie... an extraordinary 1mth+ after i got d book... which is an extremely long time 4 someone who likes 2 finish as many books in the least possible time...

time... or the lack of it... was a factor... another was the rather sudden passing of a friend... been chatting with my JC-mates how we've grown up... no longer do we have 2 tag along with parents for weddings... we now have to attend weddings of our own acquaintances... that already took getting used to... then came one of the gang who got married then went on to have a kid of her own... but facing the passing of a friend is another sobering thing altogether...

granted she was older than me... by at least a good ten years... but that's still not an age one would expect someone to.........

i've known her for nearly as long as my JC-mates... which is around 7yrs or so... she was the coordinator of the volunteer program at the FSC i'm involved in... and throughout the years, became someone i sought after when i came to the FSC, even if she wasnt involved in a particular project... she was well when i saw her a couple of months back, which added to the shock when i heard the news... it came from a closefriend i kept in regular contact with... he sounded his usual self... he sounded so cavalier when he asked "DO you know KA?" I was wondering where his question was leading, but not really concerned thinking his bro-i-law was her colleague and perhaps she's moving hse or *something*... but when he told me she just passed on, I almost scolded him for another terrible joke... but I know he's not so terrible to joke abt such a thing... yet it seems so surreal... when i juzt kept quiet, he tried to make me feel better... trying to chat as usual... except in my head was screaming... 'I need to get off the phone with you to deal with this... Stop trying to make conversation!' I think i ended the conversation asking him to find the address or something... then i hesitated telling the rest of mutual friends coz i'm hoping he was so wrong...

of course he wasnt... i just made it to the wake the next day... after rushing from work... they were carrying her down to the lift just as i reached the lift landing... i felt a deep regret for not being able to be involved in the prayers... meeting other mutual friends only made the grief more real... but on the bus-ride back with my friends, i tink i was close to hysterical, being easily tickled by the conversation... though i was feeling guilty for feeling so "happy"... met another friend afters and ended up with a huge headache coping with the day... this one tried to dissect my r'ship with KA... kept talking about it when it was the last thing i wanted to chat about...

KA's passing affected me more than i thot it shld and wld... a fren said she had a poignant moment when she cleared some stuff in her room and found her name-card...

i was just opening my drawer when i found a group photo...

one we'll never have again...

semoga allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh allahyarham... amin.........